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36 Funny Quotes

Funny sayings are like little drops of laughter in our everyday conversations. They sprinkle humor into the mundane, turning ordinary moments into memorable ones. Whether it’s a witty quip or a clever one-liner, these gems of humor have the power to brighten our day and bring smiles to our faces. They remind us not to take life too seriously and to find joy in the simplest of things. Funny sayings are the glue that holds together the tapestry of our shared human experience, connecting us through laughter and shared amusement. So, embrace the hilarity of these verbal gems and let laughter be your constant companion!

Funny Quotes

Funny Quotes



“Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal.”

-Albert Camus



“The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.”

-Albert Einstein



“Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.”

-Benjamin Franklin



“All right everyone, line up alphabetically according to your height.”

-Casey Stengel



“He who laughs last didn’t get the joke.”

-Charles de Gaulle



“A day without laughter is a day wasted.”

-Charlie Chaplin



“Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.”

-Alan Dundes



“High heels were invented by a woman who had been kissed on the forehead.”

-Christopher Morley



“I’m too drunk to taste this chicken.”

-Colonel Sanders



“The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.”

-Andy Rooney



“If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito.”

-Dalai Lama



“Most people would sooner die than think; in fact, they do so.”

-Bertrand Russell



“The digital camera is a great invention because it allows us to reminisce. Instantly.”

-Demetri Martin



“War is God’s way of teaching Americans geography.”

-Ambrose Bierce



“I was born to make mistakes, not to fake perfection.”




“To err is human; to admit it, superhuman.”

-Doug Larson



“I drink to make other people more interesting.”

-Ernest Hemingway



“Trouble knocked at the door, but, hearing laughter, hurried away.”

-Benjamin Franklin



“Leave something for someone but dont leave someone for something.”

-Enid Blyton



“You’re only as good as your last haircut.”

-Fran Lebowitz



“If you can’t live without me, why aren’t you dead already?”

-Cynthia Heimel



“I don’t believe in astrology; I’m a Sagittarius and we’re skeptical.”

-Arthur C. Clarke



“I’m in shape. Round is a shape.”

-George Carlin



“If you live to be one hundred, you’ve got it made. Very few people die past that age.”

-George Burns



“The world is full of magical things patiently waiting for our wits to grow sharper.”

-Bertrand Russell



“Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you an automobile.”

-Billy Sunday



“Great art is the contempt of a great man for small art.”

-F. Scott Fitzgerald



“As long as people will accept crap, it will be financially profitable to dispense it.”

-Dick Cavett



“My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I’m right.”

-Ashleigh Brilliant



“We learn from experience that men never learn anything from experience.”

-George Bernard Shaw



“I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early.”

-Charles Lamb



“Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.”

-Dave Barry



“If you’re going to tell people the truth, be funny or they’ll kill you.”

-Billy Wilder



“Political correctness is tyranny with manners.”

-Charlton Heston



“Have you noticed that all the people in favor of birth control are already born?”

-Benny Hill



“To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first, and call whatever you hit the target.”

-Ashleigh Brilliant